Getting Unstuck
Have you ever felt like you're spinning your wheels, stuck in the same place despite all your efforts? You’re not alone. In fact, I talk to friends from all walks of life, experiencing this sensation all the time. They often say something like this:
“I just feel like I am unable to, [insert your feeling here].”
First off, I get it. And let me assure you, you're not the only one. Just a few months ago, I found myself in a similar place, wrestling with that same feeling of stagnation in a few of my own pursuits.
It’s a frustrating place to be—especially when you know you’ve been putting in the work, showing up every day, and doing all the “right” things. Yet, somehow, it feels like nothing is changing. No matter how hard you push, progress seems elusive, like you’re treading water in an endless sea of tasks, challenges, and obstacles.
But here’s the thing: “Stuck” is often more perception than reality.
When I’m in that headspace—feeling like my efforts are going nowhere—I ask myself a simple, but powerful question:
What can I do today that wasn’t possible for me six months ago?
This question isn’t just a mental exercise; it’s a reframe that can radically shift your perspective on your journey. It’s easy to overlook incremental progress because it often doesn’t feel like progress, but by asking this question, you start to see your growth in a new light.
The Power of Reframing: Shining a Light on Your Progress
Let's dig deeper into why this question is so effective.
As humans, we’re wired to notice what's wrong or what's missing more easily than we notice what’s right or what’s improving. It’s a survival instinct, designed to keep us alert to danger. But in our modern lives, this tendency can create a skewed perception of our progress. We fixate on the gap between where we are and where we want to be, rather than recognizing the strides we've made.
By asking, “What can I do today that wasn’t possible for me six months ago?”you force yourself to shift your focus. Instead of dwelling on what's not working, you start to highlight the small wins and the subtle shifts that are often easy to miss.
For example, six months ago, maybe you were struggling to maintain a consistent routine. Today, you’ve established a solid habit of showing up daily, even if the results aren’t as dramatic as you’d hoped. That’s progress.
Or perhaps six months ago, you couldn’t complete a certain task without significant effort or help. Now, you do it almost on autopilot. That’s growth.
What Felt Hard Then, Feels Easier Now
Another way to gauge your growth is by reflecting on what felt difficult six months ago but now feels easier (or at least more manageable). This is a tangible indicator that you’re not the same person you were back then—you’ve developed skills, knowledge, and resilience. As a result, what was once difficult has become more routine.
Let’s say you started a new project six months ago that was completely outside your comfort zone. Maybe at first, every step felt overwhelming and uncertain. But today, you handle the challenges with more confidence. You’ve built a rhythm, learned what works and what doesn’t, and can navigate obstacles more smoothly. This is a clear sign of your growth.
Remember, growth doesn’t always show up as big, flashy milestones. Often, it’s the quieter, more subtle shifts in how we approach our tasks, challenges, and goals. When something that used to take all your energy and focus now feels like just another part of your day, you’ve grown.
The Illusion of Being Stuck
The feeling of being stuck is often more about perception than reality. Our minds can play tricks on us, making us feel like we’re standing still when, in fact, we’re moving forward. The progress might be slow or in a different form than expected, but it’s there.
Let’s be real — growth isn’t always linear. Sometimes, it feels like you’re taking two steps forward and one step back. Other times, it might seem like you’re walking in circles. But even those moments where you feel like you’re regressing are often necessary parts of the journey. They’re the times when you’re internalizing lessons, building resilience, and setting the stage for your next leap forward.
The Magic of Small Wins
Another important aspect of this reframe is acknowledging the power of small wins. It’s easy to overlook the minor victories when you’re focused on big goals, but these small wins are the building blocks of larger success.
Maybe six months ago, you were struggling to carve out time for a personal project amidst a busy schedule. Today, you’ve managed to consistently dedicate time to it each week. That might not seem like a huge accomplishment in the grand scheme of things, but it’s a significant step forward. Each of these small wins accumulates, creating momentum and setting you up for bigger breakthroughs.
Uncovering Your Growth
Here’s a practical exercise you can do right now to uncover your growth:
Take a few moments to think back to where you were six months ago. What were the major challenges or obstacles you were facing? What goals were you working towards? What felt particularly difficult or overwhelming?
Now, consider where you are today. What can you do now that wasn’t possible back then? What have you learned or mastered that you didn’t know before? How have your habits, routines, or mindset shifted?
Write down at least three specific examples of progress or growth. It could be anything from mastering a new skill, to developing a healthier habit, to feeling more confident in a particular area of your life.
Reflect on how far you’ve come and give yourself credit for your progress. Recognizing and celebrating your growth is crucial for maintaining motivation and continuing to move forward.
Final Thoughts: You're Progressing, Even When It Doesn’t Feel Like It
The next time you find yourself feeling stuck or frustrated by a perceived lack of progress, remember this: Growth isn't always loud or obvious; often, it’s subtle and incremental — it’s happening, whether you see it or not.
And just to be clear, I’m preaching to myself as much as to you. I have a habit of moving the goalposts just before I reach them, leaving me in a perpetual state of feeling like I haven’t accomplished much. This is why it’s so crucial to reframe your perspective and take stock of what’s actually happened.
So, what can you do today that wasn’t possible six months ago? Take a moment to reflect, and you might be surprised by how much you’ve truly accomplished. Stay committed to your journey, keep asking the right questions, and always remember: You’re growing, even when it feels like you’re standing still.
Until next time,
Michael Visser
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