The Failure Factor

Growing up, my brother and I had a brilliant idea – or so we thought – to use the laundry basket to ride down the stairs. As the younger of the two of us, I suggested he go first. At the time that I was preparing to give my brother a push to start his voyage to the basement, my mother recalls trying to stop us (from what was about to be an epic failure), but she was too late. As she joined me at the edge of the stairs, we watched my brother flip and roll down to the basement – not the smooth ride in the laundry basket that our young brains had imagined. Once he plopped to the bottom, there was a moment where my mother and I held our breaths waiting to see if he was okay. Thankfully he was, and he walked away with only a few rug burns. After the failed endeavor, we retired the idea, and I was spared from my own failed flight down the stairs.

Innately, as a leader, I am like my mother, I will do everything in my power not to let anyone fail. If I see a possibility of failure on the horizon, I will jump in and try and save the day. The challenge is individuals often grow from failures at a faster rate than from successes. It is necessary for team members to try something, to fail, to learn from the moment, and then to get up and try it again. As leaders, we cannot keep our teams from failing, but we can be there in those moments, offering our support, asking great questions, and ultimately creating space for them to grow from the experience.

The benefits of chasing failure.

I recently listened to Ryan Leek’s perspective on failure in his book Chasing Failure. In a world where we typically shy away from any situation where failure is possible, Ryan advocates for the opposite; instead, emphasizing that we should chase opportunities in which we might fail. In doing so, we put ourselves in places where we can eventually succeed due to the things learned from failing quickly and often.

“What’s worse: failing while trying or failing by not trying?”

– Ryan Leek

Why chase failure? Through failure, we form a grit and resilience that we would not have developed in any other way. Here are just a few of the psychological benefits that can be gleaned through failure:

• Adaptability: Through failure, adaptability can be strengthened – as a result, adjusting to new circumstances or implementing new strategies can be more easily executed in a future moment.

• Enhanced Problem-Solving Skills: It becomes easier to spot potential obstacles or blind spots in future scenarios, causing more creativity in solutions and the ability to solve for possible roadblocks before they occur.

• Increased Motivation and Perseverance: The resilience and determination gained from failure can re-motivate an individual toward achieving their goals and pushing beyond the limitations of their past missteps.

• Improved Risk-Taking: It’s often the fear of failure that is more limiting that failure itself. Ultimately, when an individual experiences failure and bounces back, they are more likely to take calculated risks comfortably.

Processing failure with your team.

When a team member feels weight or pressure from a missed deadline or from a challenging conversation due to something they did or did not do, as leaders, we might want to save them from the discomfort, but we shouldn’t. Instead, we should lean in, help them uncover the possible missteps in their execution, and help them create a plan to continue moving forward. At the point that they succeed, not only can we celebrate their accomplishment, but we can also celebrate the growth they experienced along the way.

Potential questions to ask a team member when processing failure:

1. How did you expect that to go?

It’s often the dissonance between expectation and reality that causes someone to feel like they have failed. In processing those moments, it’s crucial to understand what your team member expected to happen to help them understand where they possibly missed the mark.

2. How would you have liked that to go?

When you’re able to help someone see the full picture of the outcome they were desiring to achieve, you can support them in establishing clear action steps that it will take to get to that outcome.

3. What might you have done differently?

When it comes to failure, as humans, we are adept at demeaning our own ability or being generally critical toward self. After a perceived failure, if someone’s internal dialogue is just critique without defined action for the next time, it’s easy to become demoralized and frozen. That is why this question is so helpful, it can help someone understand the action(s) to implement in the next scenario. When empowered with clear action steps, they can move forward with intention and ultimately create a different outcome.

Conclusion

While we can’t always keep our teams from their own “laundry basket down the stairs” moments, we can help them process their failures, recalibrate for their next attempt, and ultimately grow in capacity and resilience through it all. Failure doesn't have to be the last word; it is only a point of learning along the developmental journey.

For the righteous falls seven times and rises again..

Proverbs 24:16a

Let’s learn to fail forward, knowing that for every moment that feels like a misstep, we will certainly rise again, stronger and more capable of successfully navigating what’s to come.

Amanda Visser

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